Welcome – You Just Need To Ask

02/12/2011

Safe Shelter

Women who work in shelters have many other roles in their communities—such as mother, daughter, friend, wife, teacher, board member, church member and others. The skills they have learned and use in these different roles are also very useful in their work in the shelter.

Sometimes women do not feel they have the skills needed to work in a shelter, but in fact they bring many important skills to their job that come from their life experience in their family and community.

Welcome to Safe Shelter

Some of the signs: I believe he has written a great article on his on his blog along with other travel tips and advice on this subject matter.

Have you noticed a change in her clothes or the way she wears her hair? Does she dress more conservatively than she used to? Is he trying to cut her off from her friends and family – is he trying to isolate her? Has she changed the way she uses social networking sites like Facebook? Does she post fewer status updates or send fewer messages than she used to? Has she made unusual changes to her profile, like taking down old pictures or deleting friends? Has she started to cancel plans at the last minute, or is she making excuses not to spend time with you? But his formidable career was built upon a foundation of hypocrisy and lies. In the years since Greenberg’s death, while court officials wrestled over his estate, The Seattle Times worked to unearth Greenberg’s secrets, getting court records unsealed and disciplinary records opened.

Those records are a testament to Greenberg’s cunning. They show how he played the courts for a fool. He played state regulators for a fool. He played his fellow psychologists for a fool. And were it not for a hidden camera, he might have gotten away with it. In summer 1984, Cathy Graden, a 27-year-old surgical nurse from Woodinville, was summoned to King County Superior Court for an emergency hearing in her child-custody case. Her lawyer said a psychologist’s report was behind the hearing. But Graden wasn’t allowed to read the report. Nor was she allowed in the courtroom while the psychologist testified. The psychologist, Stuart Greenberg, had been hired to help resolve a custody dispute involving Graden’s only child, a 4-year-old boy whose bright, goopy finger-paintings Graden taped up all over the house.

Although appointed by the court, Greenberg was paid by the parties. He had interviewed the boy and both parents, and run a half-dozen tests with impressive names (the Achenbach Child Behavior Checklist, the Michigan Screening Profile of Parenting … ).Does she constantly apologise for his behaviour?

Have you noticed bruises or injuries? (Remember, abusers often deliberately hit their partner on parts of the body where bruises are less likely to be seen.) Were you convinced by her explanations? Does she seem depressed or anxious – is she less happy and cheerful than she used to be? Has she been taking more time than usual off sick from work? Does her partner text or call constantly when she is out with you? Does she seem nervous when she’s with her partner? As if she’s walking on egg-shells? Signs that he might be controlling her:

Does he get jealous of you or other friends and family members?
Does he criticise her or put her down in front of friends?
Does he make it difficult for you to spend time alone together? Does he invite himself to girls’ nights out or butt in when you’re having a conversation? Do you sense that he is there when you’re on the phone with her?
Is he constantly posting on her Facebook page? Has she told you, or do you suspect, that he has access to her Facebook account?
When they’re together, does he do all the talking and dominate the conversation?
Is he unreasonably jealous of other men?
Have you seen him lose his temper over something that seemed minor?
Does he control the money in the relationship?

Controlling

Does he insist on picking her up and dropping her off wherever she goes? Does he get angry or unreasonably annoyed if she is slightly late?

If your friend is being forced to alter her behavior because she is frightened of her partner’s reaction it is likely that she is being abused.

On a Lighter note

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